Equality is a joke.
And a bad one at that. Mainly because I don't think people even remember what the definition of that word is anymore.
Equality; the state or quality of being equal; correspondence in quantity, degree, value, rank, or ability.
Heres the thing.
The reason I even bring this up is because of a post I saw on Facebook earlier today that made me laugh. Now, incase this is the first of my blogs you've read, then I'll warn you that my sense of humor is that of the average american male in his mid 20's. Crude. So, the post, was a picture of a "younger" girl (probably late teens early twenties) holding a sign that read, "I need feminism because "Who hired the stripper" should not be the first thing I hear at work for a WELDING JOB."
I laughed. And I laughed even harder after reading the comments. The divide between men and women is never more true and apparent then when it comes time to throw in your witty comments/2 cents about something like this on social media. Now, you may be thinking that I'm some sexist pig that believes woman belong at home with the kids and in the kitchen the rest of the time. For the record, my fiancée cooks, and cooks AMAZING, and does so by choice. She practically chases me OUT of the kitchen. As far as kids, she wants 1 maybe 2 and hopes one day she can spend a lot of time with them. Anyway, I laughed because this post was one of SEVERAL classic cases where the millions are marching demanding equality and yet cry that chivalry is dead and romance is all but lost. You want equality yet still expect doors to be opened for you and to get the last bite of dinner. It's not equality you're looking for, its a double standard. You're wanting to change the rules and way of life for your own benefit. You want to be the exception.
...Really?
A lot of the comments, from BOTH men and women were honest realizations that she is willingly subjecting herself to a mans work environment. Doesn't take more than the common sense level of the average Walmart shopper to figure that one out and thats a pretty low level of common sense. One man even said that if he were to go work at a hair salon, he would fully expect there to be banter and jokes made at his expense. Its how America works. One word: Steryotypes. Two more words: Thicker Skin
I'm not sure why it took the "Date Grape" drink name issue for me to finally speak up about it because
i've been witnessing it for a few years now, probably more, but we as Americans need to do 2 things.
1. Grow some thicker skin
2. Give PEOPLE, a break
As a person who is open about his religion and beliefs and happy to be straight, I can't think of a time in my life that I was actually MORE scared to tell people either of those things than now. I'm not ashamed of what believe or being straight, but if I was to so much as say, "I believe in God" (Which I do) I would probably get called a bigot. And for what? Because you hear the word Christian or God and everyone automatically thinks you're a bigot. Thats not how this thing works. Just because someone believes or thinks something different from yours and it may revolve around religion, peoples go to is to label them as a bigot. Its stupid really. And intolerant if you think about it. But thats another word that people seem to have lost the real meaning to somewhere along the way. Because bigot does NOT mean "religious backwoods redneck", or "Bible thumper", Bigot, by definition means; a person who is intolerant of any ideas other than his or her own. Hmm, happen to look at a mirror just now? Thought so. Now, it gives religion as an example, but nowhere in that definition does it directly relate. People just need to cut each other some slack. We're going differ about things, a LOT of things, its what makes us human.
Now, stereotypes are a terrible and funny thing but they didn't happen over night. Is it a stereotype to associate bigotry with religious beliefs? Yes. Especially in todays world with the way the media, and hollywood portrays those of religious beliefs. Am I upset about it? A little, but I also know that I don't fall into that steryotype. How? Because I don't let myself. I have a few gay friends and even one transgender friend now and we all get along fine. We may not agree on everything but thats to be expected. We also don't have to tip toe around each other when it comes to poking fun or making jokes about each others life styles. Is it a stereotype to assume that a woman in a "mans" workplace isn't there for "work". You bet. Is it also a stereotype to assume that the one guy working at a hair salon is gay? I think you're getting it now. They exist and this isn't news.
So here you are wanting equality yet you aren't willing to show your argument counterparts that same equality and you probably don't even realize it. But you're doing it. If you with death upon the person who is saying that you aren't entitled to the same rights as they are, then you're no better than them. If you're upset about being poked fun at for stepping into an environment where you know YOU are not the "norm" and DEMAND change, you're no better than they are. If you found yourself being stereotyped and then placed the person or persons doing it into a stereotype, then you are no better than they are. If you HATE someone just because they have a difference of opinion and claims to HATE you, then you are no better then they are. The whole world needs some thicker skin because stereotypes aren't going anywhere anytime soon.
The FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT was elected into office just over 6 years ago and somehow everyone thought the world was going to change over night. Sure he promised change, but it wasn't exactly what a lot of todays' issues are about. Do I like him? No. Do I think he's had more than enough time to change the things he promised to change? Hell Yes. But the point I'm getting at is that after 43 before him, almost 300 years since the first one elected, we elected, as a country, our first BLACK president. Clearly your issues about being treated equal in the work place or whether or not you can marry someone of the same sex is still a few down the line as far as things we need to "get over" or accept as people. The NFL actually has a rule that requires at least ONE black candidate to be interviewed for a head coaching vacancy before that organization can make its choice of who to hire. Its 2014, first black president in office and we STILL have rules like this. "Equality", right. If it were me, I would interview whoever the hell I thought would be a good fit. its its an african american, great, but you better believe its because I think he's best for the job and not because I'm forced to. I'm surprised the gay community is even as upset as it is these days because a similar situation applies to them. Job security. With how much heat is being brought on this whole equality, everyone gets a chance, subject, if an employer were to hire someone who is gay, and they happen to be terrible at their job, do you really honestly think that they could fire them without facing a HUGE lawsuit? Because you know that someone would twist it into the fact that they were fired for being gay. I might be completely off base with that line of thinking but not without cause first.
For as long as I can remember and for how far back the history books go, Americans, hell, HUMAN BEINGS, fear two things. Change and what they don't understand. Combine those two and you have one epic cluster fuck of a knee jerk reaction to someone or something and you're witnessing it every day. People need to be cut some slack because, well, we're people. "I'm only human". Go ahead, say it, I know you have at least a dozens times in your life.
We screw up, we get scared, we judge, we stereotype, we panic, we accept, we adapt, we CHANGE. But it is not over night and it is NOT easy. So instead of picketing your new job because the 99% of men working there are making cat calls at you and instead of wasting effort, energy, and time screaming at someone for being a racist bigot because they don't agree with what it is that you're trying to do, maybe, just maybe, you should cut them some slack. The majority is no longer that much of a majority when you consider the fact that anyone who voices an opinion different to that of the hot topic of the week is met with hostility and intolerance. When all they had was an opinion and a right to that opinion. Because this is America. Where you can live here as a citizen and talk openly about how much you may HATE this country yet we allow you to live here because you have the right to your opinion. Because when you're here, you are THAT free. Lets not forget it.
Let em hear it
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Flakey Friends and Frustrations
Heres the thing.
Recently I've noticed some changes in my life. Nothing to be alarmed about, still no grey hair and as far as I know, my cholesterol is still in good shape. The changes I've noticed are a bit more close to the heart than that, they're changes I've noticed with my "friends".
I say that in quotes because in all honesty, I don't know if I should even consider them as such anymore. And thats where the change comes in, because up until this point, I would have never dreamed of having to call their friendship into question.
Back in early September I proposed to my now fiancee (that means she said "Yes" incase you missed that part). Up until a few months before I made the decision to pop the question, her and I, like any couple, had our ups and downs. We were on and off throughout the course of a years time, then things finally "clicked". Now having been that friend who's been there for my friends that have gone through similar stretches in their own relationships, I can openly admit that it's not fun and not something you WANT to be a part of, but you do because, well, they're your friends. So I get it. What makes you think this time will last?
I would certainly hope an engagement would be a big fucking indicator that this go around might be just a little bit different. But even so, why is it that you have grown exhausted by this when you yourself have put not only myself, but other friends as well through the EXACT SAME THING?
I digress. We got engaged in early September and set a date shortly after for...? Early SEPTEMBER. More than three hundred and sixty five days in advance. (525,600 minutes, 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months, a Year, the next time that month comes back around) Do you see where I am going with this? Good, because I don't know about you, but unless its a birthday, I don't know what my plans are a year from now. Hell, I don't even know what my plans are for the weekend because things change so frequently and personally, I get tired of making plans because everyone always seems to find a reason/way to get out of them.
Which brings me to my point. We made a Facebook event for it that weekend just to get a ballpark headcount, knowing we would still send invitations out once things such as a location and venue were decided. Not even 15 minutes after the event was made and invites sent, we had people, no, FRIENDS, no, CLOSE FRIENDS, decline. Not even a maybe. A full on, heres what I think of your love and your wedding, I have better things to do, NOT GOING.
Wow.... A years notice and yet somehow they had something better to do that day. What other plans? A grandparents 100th birthday? A Bar Mitzvah? A graduation? A once in a lifetime vacation to another country?
Vegas....
Apparently, our date happens to fall on the same weekend that a group of them (not once has this ever included me because I've never been invited) go to Las Vegas. Just like they have every year for the past 7 years, and spend the week getting drunk like underage college kids. (Side note: Most of them are now pushing 30 and it just kind of seems sad now).
They're going to miss my wedding, their FRIENDS WEDDING, for that.
I think the worst feeling had to come from the moment they all declined, to the follow up of info that would trickle in piece by piece as the week progressed. See, I later found out that the reason it has to be THAT week is because of a time share that they have invested in and can't get out of it.
Heres my problem with that.
First, thats still a BULLSHIT reason/excuse to miss this.
Second, you should have lead off with the timeshare detail to begin with because seeing as how I had to find out AFTER you had already declined, means that this trip that you do every year, by itself, is more important than you being at my wedding.
Third, the fact that none of them even bothered to check the "Maybe" option, even if just to humor me and still not go, its the courteous thing to do, especially knowing how much can change in a year.
Finally, why are you treating this like its not that important or not that big of a deal?? I mean really, out with it. This isn't a birthday. You can't just "catch the next one". Even if recent history and the world as we live in it today says that marriages don't last and high divorce rates, you, under NO circumstances should EVER treat one like you'll be sure to CATCH THE NEXT ONE. Now, I don't want to take things out of context, because those words were never ACTUALLY said, it's just the feeling I have as far as their attitudes toward this event, given the evidence.
Two people agree to spend their lives together. Take vows. Speak the words. Promise to be together until death do them part, in front of family, friends, and God himself and YOU were invited to witness and be apart of it.
And you said "no" for Vegas....
Not only that, but I can't help but be left with this feeling that I'M the rude or inconsiderate one in all of this because I didn't ask THEM first.
I'm sorry, but I'm really not sorry that I don't feel its my fiancee and I's job or responsibility to go and check with everyone first to make sure they don't have any plans for when we would like to have our WEDDING.
It just blows me away how some people are. And I wish it stopped at this particular example, but unfortunately as I'm typing this, I'm remembering a few other people (Some I even asked to be IN the wedding. As in the wedding PARTY) have mentioned the possibility that they too may not be able to attend. For what I feel are also unacceptable excuses because they, again, are not any of what I listed above as a possible "good excuse".
I hope as you're reading this (they know who they are) that you remember the time that you called me at 2:30 in the morning crying your eyes out, barely even able to make the words "can you come over" because you just found out your douche of a boyfriend had been cheating on you for months with his ex wife and you needed a FRIEND. Or the time all of you were pissed drunk at the house because you had all found out that while one of you had been sleeping with (at the time) a long time friend of ours, that weekend he got in town early and slept with another one of our friends, lied about it, tried to sleep with you the same night, and then when we found out, faked his own suicide, and I was there because you guys needed a REAL FRIEND. Thats just to name a few and the only reason I don't feel like listing more examples (and trust me, theres a lot more where those came from) is because I don't feel like you're worth anymore of my time on this subject.
Since the time we set our date, we have changed it to a week earlier. Not because of anyone not being able to attend, but because of the reason we were going to have it on the original date, changes. No one who declined has changed to a yes since we did this. At this point, I hope they don't. Why should they come now that the dates been changed when they weren't even going to try before? But thats just me.
Now most of you have significant others of your own. Have for quite a while. It will be interesting to see if the time should come that you get engaged and plan a wedding and maybe even invite me. I wonder if I'll have plans to go to Vegas that weekend...
Guess we'll see.
Recently I've noticed some changes in my life. Nothing to be alarmed about, still no grey hair and as far as I know, my cholesterol is still in good shape. The changes I've noticed are a bit more close to the heart than that, they're changes I've noticed with my "friends".
I say that in quotes because in all honesty, I don't know if I should even consider them as such anymore. And thats where the change comes in, because up until this point, I would have never dreamed of having to call their friendship into question.
Back in early September I proposed to my now fiancee (that means she said "Yes" incase you missed that part). Up until a few months before I made the decision to pop the question, her and I, like any couple, had our ups and downs. We were on and off throughout the course of a years time, then things finally "clicked". Now having been that friend who's been there for my friends that have gone through similar stretches in their own relationships, I can openly admit that it's not fun and not something you WANT to be a part of, but you do because, well, they're your friends. So I get it. What makes you think this time will last?
I would certainly hope an engagement would be a big fucking indicator that this go around might be just a little bit different. But even so, why is it that you have grown exhausted by this when you yourself have put not only myself, but other friends as well through the EXACT SAME THING?
I digress. We got engaged in early September and set a date shortly after for...? Early SEPTEMBER. More than three hundred and sixty five days in advance. (525,600 minutes, 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months, a Year, the next time that month comes back around) Do you see where I am going with this? Good, because I don't know about you, but unless its a birthday, I don't know what my plans are a year from now. Hell, I don't even know what my plans are for the weekend because things change so frequently and personally, I get tired of making plans because everyone always seems to find a reason/way to get out of them.
Which brings me to my point. We made a Facebook event for it that weekend just to get a ballpark headcount, knowing we would still send invitations out once things such as a location and venue were decided. Not even 15 minutes after the event was made and invites sent, we had people, no, FRIENDS, no, CLOSE FRIENDS, decline. Not even a maybe. A full on, heres what I think of your love and your wedding, I have better things to do, NOT GOING.
Wow.... A years notice and yet somehow they had something better to do that day. What other plans? A grandparents 100th birthday? A Bar Mitzvah? A graduation? A once in a lifetime vacation to another country?
Vegas....
Apparently, our date happens to fall on the same weekend that a group of them (not once has this ever included me because I've never been invited) go to Las Vegas. Just like they have every year for the past 7 years, and spend the week getting drunk like underage college kids. (Side note: Most of them are now pushing 30 and it just kind of seems sad now).
They're going to miss my wedding, their FRIENDS WEDDING, for that.
I think the worst feeling had to come from the moment they all declined, to the follow up of info that would trickle in piece by piece as the week progressed. See, I later found out that the reason it has to be THAT week is because of a time share that they have invested in and can't get out of it.
Heres my problem with that.
First, thats still a BULLSHIT reason/excuse to miss this.
Second, you should have lead off with the timeshare detail to begin with because seeing as how I had to find out AFTER you had already declined, means that this trip that you do every year, by itself, is more important than you being at my wedding.
Third, the fact that none of them even bothered to check the "Maybe" option, even if just to humor me and still not go, its the courteous thing to do, especially knowing how much can change in a year.
Finally, why are you treating this like its not that important or not that big of a deal?? I mean really, out with it. This isn't a birthday. You can't just "catch the next one". Even if recent history and the world as we live in it today says that marriages don't last and high divorce rates, you, under NO circumstances should EVER treat one like you'll be sure to CATCH THE NEXT ONE. Now, I don't want to take things out of context, because those words were never ACTUALLY said, it's just the feeling I have as far as their attitudes toward this event, given the evidence.
Two people agree to spend their lives together. Take vows. Speak the words. Promise to be together until death do them part, in front of family, friends, and God himself and YOU were invited to witness and be apart of it.
And you said "no" for Vegas....
Not only that, but I can't help but be left with this feeling that I'M the rude or inconsiderate one in all of this because I didn't ask THEM first.
I'm sorry, but I'm really not sorry that I don't feel its my fiancee and I's job or responsibility to go and check with everyone first to make sure they don't have any plans for when we would like to have our WEDDING.
It just blows me away how some people are. And I wish it stopped at this particular example, but unfortunately as I'm typing this, I'm remembering a few other people (Some I even asked to be IN the wedding. As in the wedding PARTY) have mentioned the possibility that they too may not be able to attend. For what I feel are also unacceptable excuses because they, again, are not any of what I listed above as a possible "good excuse".
I hope as you're reading this (they know who they are) that you remember the time that you called me at 2:30 in the morning crying your eyes out, barely even able to make the words "can you come over" because you just found out your douche of a boyfriend had been cheating on you for months with his ex wife and you needed a FRIEND. Or the time all of you were pissed drunk at the house because you had all found out that while one of you had been sleeping with (at the time) a long time friend of ours, that weekend he got in town early and slept with another one of our friends, lied about it, tried to sleep with you the same night, and then when we found out, faked his own suicide, and I was there because you guys needed a REAL FRIEND. Thats just to name a few and the only reason I don't feel like listing more examples (and trust me, theres a lot more where those came from) is because I don't feel like you're worth anymore of my time on this subject.
Since the time we set our date, we have changed it to a week earlier. Not because of anyone not being able to attend, but because of the reason we were going to have it on the original date, changes. No one who declined has changed to a yes since we did this. At this point, I hope they don't. Why should they come now that the dates been changed when they weren't even going to try before? But thats just me.
Now most of you have significant others of your own. Have for quite a while. It will be interesting to see if the time should come that you get engaged and plan a wedding and maybe even invite me. I wonder if I'll have plans to go to Vegas that weekend...
Guess we'll see.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
....Really??
So here I sit, a little over a week after this whole thing even started, overwhelmed by whats happened. Overwhelmed is the one word that seems to come to mind repeatedly. Slightly undeserving of that description, yes, but this thing is everywhere.
A little over a week ago, a new business (a bar) announced on social media its drink menu for its grand opening. At first glance, nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. The name "Beast Mode" was on it which seemed fitting for being an establishment in the Pacific Northwest, among others that were names specific to the region or a play on words. Which brings me to the issue. One play on words did not go so quietly looked over and now its receiving NATIONAL attention.
The name of the drink is called "Date Grape Koolaid". Now I'm not one thats overly sensitive or easily offended so the fact that when it actually was pointed out to me, I giggled, might shed some light on the type of sense of humor I have. And apparently that is just NOT OK.
Heres the thing. It started out as someone, who IS probably overly sensitive and easily offended and the very reason I have to spend an entire day of training for every new job I get, devoted to whats right to say and what isn't, whats "Politically correct" and what is not, being offended by the name of this drink. I guess that when it was brought to the owners attention, he was for lack of a better word, a DICK, about the whole thing. Now today I read an article shared by a person who is in the boat of "I'm not laughing", that went into great depth about how this very thing is pretty much SUPPORTING rape if not actually causing it just by being a play on words because "Laughing about it sends a message that its okay to rape". Oh boy.
So heres where I'm pissed about it. Do I rape people? No. Do I think rape is bad? Yes. Am I siding with a guy who's being a dick about the situation? No. It simply comes down to the fact that I don't think half the people that were out there in the freezing cold on a Saturday night, protesting, even realize what it is that they're upset about. Because the issue SHOULD be that a business owner came up with a name, someone didn't like it, he was a dick to them, why is he running a business, who cares just don't go there. But now its transformed into an issue where those of us that found it slightly funny, are apparently, somehow empowering this already "out of control rape culture" that we have here before us.
....Really? THATS what you people have gotten out of this? The fact that the start of this whole thing was how poorly the owner handled it and now I'm considered ignorant and basically saying rape is okay by saying to just leave him be and if you don't like it don't go there, is ridiculous. I mean, its that simple. I don't have a problem with people being upset by something, speaking up about it, it being handled poorly, and now they have a new sworn enemy. But this isn't that anymore. And heres why.
First, we are not living in a "rape culture". We live in an EVERYTHING CULTURE. Yeah, its called AMERICA. And if you don't believe me then you obviously don't get comedy central with your basic cable package at home. Just ONE of their Celebrity Roasts make fun of EVERYTHING. It is a no holds barred, did he really just say that?, too soon?, Holy wow he went there, shit fest. And I love them. I do. And the people that don't, probably don't watch them. But to say that the "line" is rape and to joke about it through a play on words for a grand opening of a local business is going too far, is just dumb. "It was a traumatic experience and should not be joked about. Thats just rude and insensitive" You're absolutely right, it was a very traumatic experience and that shouldn't happen to people. Just like so many things shouldn't happen to people but they do anyway. But at the same time you're saying that, theres a soldier in some hospital somewhere with limbs blown off being fed through a tube due to a car bomb, chuckling at your traumatic experience. Right next to a gun shot victim who was gunned down over a few bucks in his wallet one night. And across the hall from the cancer patient receiving chemo while chatting with their roommate who was car jacked after being beaten and stabbed. You are no more special than any of these other people, yet apparently the line is drawn at you. I'm not saying that a person who was raped is less important or not important at all, because they are people, they are victims. But we can threaten to kill someone out of anger or have video games where we play soldier and blow people up or wish cancer on someone we don't like, but when a bar has a play on words for a drink name, OH HELL NO! .....Really? And I love the fact that so many are crying out, "Just change the name and we'll leave you alone" because I'm pretty sure that was a similar argument being made about the whole gay marriage/domestic partnership/civil union issue, where the one side kept saying you could have all the same things the others did, it just needed to be called something else. Did that fly? No. And I guarantee probably 90% of you that are pissed at this bar voted for marriage equality just like I did. Which it may appear to be an apples to oranges comparison, but in the grand scheme of things, its really not. Its equality too. Because to allow this man to run HIS business how he sees fit, no matter how much of an asshole he may be, without fear of protest or persecution, is also EQUALITY.
...Hypocrites
Second, a name in no way shape or form increases or decreases crimes and traumatic experiences. And if you really think it does, then YOU are the ignorant one who somehow thinks that all the problems in the world today would be stopped if we just had positive images and names for everything. WRONG. Joking about rape doesn't make rape any more okay than someone joking about murder. The solution to the worlds problems as well as the root of the problems themselves can all be traced back to one place. The HOME. My father was an alcoholic yet I'm not. I'm constantly exposed to beer commercials and TV and media promoting drinking and partying, yet I know when enough is enough. Its called guidance and it starts at home. Though my father may not have been the best father, I still had a mother that showed me right from wrong as well as a grandfather who was a model gentleman. They also helped give me a moral compass for life as well, it was called church. Yeah, didn't think I was gonna cover the whole "well what about the kids who don't have parents or parental figures" did you. Too bad. And I'm not trying to go off on a religious rant here but lets face it, whether they always believe in what that particular religion teaches or not once they become an adult, at least they had a positive guide for life after puberty. It is a thousand times more difficult to try and "fix" a full grown adult who has very screwed up views of the world and thinks rape actually is ok than it is to mold a young mind and set them on a proper course of right and wrong. Names and "pop culture" have little to do with full grown adults, it starts at home, NOT changing a name. And as far as the whole church thing goes, maybe if people weren't so eager to force God OUT of everything like school, the workplace, LIFE, then maybe delinquents that had no moral compass at all growing up because of that, wouldn't be constantly trying to force themselves IN everything like women, drug addictions, ATM's... Just a thought.
And finally to the person that wrote the article that set me off in the first place. Your username is "notyourfemininenazi".
........Are you fucking kidding me with that? You take the time to write a novel about how terrible a play on words is and its not to be joked about and it sends the wrong message and THATS your username??? Holy shit you have no right to even speak. Your name IS a play on words. The fact that I even have to ask if its supposed to mean you're not a nazi or you are a nazi just not "yours", means that you fail. Because now I'm offended. Not just by your name but by your utter stupidity. I would say you better change your username before you find me pacing out in front of your shitty studio apartment with a sign saying "Genocide is not a joke" but I'm not an easily offended and overly sensitive bitch who feels the need to speak up when I should have just kept my feminazi mouth SHUT.
A little over a week ago, a new business (a bar) announced on social media its drink menu for its grand opening. At first glance, nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. The name "Beast Mode" was on it which seemed fitting for being an establishment in the Pacific Northwest, among others that were names specific to the region or a play on words. Which brings me to the issue. One play on words did not go so quietly looked over and now its receiving NATIONAL attention.
The name of the drink is called "Date Grape Koolaid". Now I'm not one thats overly sensitive or easily offended so the fact that when it actually was pointed out to me, I giggled, might shed some light on the type of sense of humor I have. And apparently that is just NOT OK.
Heres the thing. It started out as someone, who IS probably overly sensitive and easily offended and the very reason I have to spend an entire day of training for every new job I get, devoted to whats right to say and what isn't, whats "Politically correct" and what is not, being offended by the name of this drink. I guess that when it was brought to the owners attention, he was for lack of a better word, a DICK, about the whole thing. Now today I read an article shared by a person who is in the boat of "I'm not laughing", that went into great depth about how this very thing is pretty much SUPPORTING rape if not actually causing it just by being a play on words because "Laughing about it sends a message that its okay to rape". Oh boy.
So heres where I'm pissed about it. Do I rape people? No. Do I think rape is bad? Yes. Am I siding with a guy who's being a dick about the situation? No. It simply comes down to the fact that I don't think half the people that were out there in the freezing cold on a Saturday night, protesting, even realize what it is that they're upset about. Because the issue SHOULD be that a business owner came up with a name, someone didn't like it, he was a dick to them, why is he running a business, who cares just don't go there. But now its transformed into an issue where those of us that found it slightly funny, are apparently, somehow empowering this already "out of control rape culture" that we have here before us.
....Really? THATS what you people have gotten out of this? The fact that the start of this whole thing was how poorly the owner handled it and now I'm considered ignorant and basically saying rape is okay by saying to just leave him be and if you don't like it don't go there, is ridiculous. I mean, its that simple. I don't have a problem with people being upset by something, speaking up about it, it being handled poorly, and now they have a new sworn enemy. But this isn't that anymore. And heres why.
First, we are not living in a "rape culture". We live in an EVERYTHING CULTURE. Yeah, its called AMERICA. And if you don't believe me then you obviously don't get comedy central with your basic cable package at home. Just ONE of their Celebrity Roasts make fun of EVERYTHING. It is a no holds barred, did he really just say that?, too soon?, Holy wow he went there, shit fest. And I love them. I do. And the people that don't, probably don't watch them. But to say that the "line" is rape and to joke about it through a play on words for a grand opening of a local business is going too far, is just dumb. "It was a traumatic experience and should not be joked about. Thats just rude and insensitive" You're absolutely right, it was a very traumatic experience and that shouldn't happen to people. Just like so many things shouldn't happen to people but they do anyway. But at the same time you're saying that, theres a soldier in some hospital somewhere with limbs blown off being fed through a tube due to a car bomb, chuckling at your traumatic experience. Right next to a gun shot victim who was gunned down over a few bucks in his wallet one night. And across the hall from the cancer patient receiving chemo while chatting with their roommate who was car jacked after being beaten and stabbed. You are no more special than any of these other people, yet apparently the line is drawn at you. I'm not saying that a person who was raped is less important or not important at all, because they are people, they are victims. But we can threaten to kill someone out of anger or have video games where we play soldier and blow people up or wish cancer on someone we don't like, but when a bar has a play on words for a drink name, OH HELL NO! .....Really? And I love the fact that so many are crying out, "Just change the name and we'll leave you alone" because I'm pretty sure that was a similar argument being made about the whole gay marriage/domestic partnership/civil union issue, where the one side kept saying you could have all the same things the others did, it just needed to be called something else. Did that fly? No. And I guarantee probably 90% of you that are pissed at this bar voted for marriage equality just like I did. Which it may appear to be an apples to oranges comparison, but in the grand scheme of things, its really not. Its equality too. Because to allow this man to run HIS business how he sees fit, no matter how much of an asshole he may be, without fear of protest or persecution, is also EQUALITY.
...Hypocrites
Second, a name in no way shape or form increases or decreases crimes and traumatic experiences. And if you really think it does, then YOU are the ignorant one who somehow thinks that all the problems in the world today would be stopped if we just had positive images and names for everything. WRONG. Joking about rape doesn't make rape any more okay than someone joking about murder. The solution to the worlds problems as well as the root of the problems themselves can all be traced back to one place. The HOME. My father was an alcoholic yet I'm not. I'm constantly exposed to beer commercials and TV and media promoting drinking and partying, yet I know when enough is enough. Its called guidance and it starts at home. Though my father may not have been the best father, I still had a mother that showed me right from wrong as well as a grandfather who was a model gentleman. They also helped give me a moral compass for life as well, it was called church. Yeah, didn't think I was gonna cover the whole "well what about the kids who don't have parents or parental figures" did you. Too bad. And I'm not trying to go off on a religious rant here but lets face it, whether they always believe in what that particular religion teaches or not once they become an adult, at least they had a positive guide for life after puberty. It is a thousand times more difficult to try and "fix" a full grown adult who has very screwed up views of the world and thinks rape actually is ok than it is to mold a young mind and set them on a proper course of right and wrong. Names and "pop culture" have little to do with full grown adults, it starts at home, NOT changing a name. And as far as the whole church thing goes, maybe if people weren't so eager to force God OUT of everything like school, the workplace, LIFE, then maybe delinquents that had no moral compass at all growing up because of that, wouldn't be constantly trying to force themselves IN everything like women, drug addictions, ATM's... Just a thought.
And finally to the person that wrote the article that set me off in the first place. Your username is "notyourfemininenazi".
........Are you fucking kidding me with that? You take the time to write a novel about how terrible a play on words is and its not to be joked about and it sends the wrong message and THATS your username??? Holy shit you have no right to even speak. Your name IS a play on words. The fact that I even have to ask if its supposed to mean you're not a nazi or you are a nazi just not "yours", means that you fail. Because now I'm offended. Not just by your name but by your utter stupidity. I would say you better change your username before you find me pacing out in front of your shitty studio apartment with a sign saying "Genocide is not a joke" but I'm not an easily offended and overly sensitive bitch who feels the need to speak up when I should have just kept my feminazi mouth SHUT.
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