Flakey Friends and Frustrations

Heres the thing.
Recently I've noticed some changes in my life. Nothing to be alarmed about, still no grey hair and as far as I know, my cholesterol is still in good shape. The changes I've noticed are a bit more close to the heart than that, they're changes I've noticed with my "friends".

I say that in quotes because in all honesty, I don't know if I should even consider them as such anymore.  And thats where the change comes in, because up until this point, I would have never dreamed of having to call their friendship into question.

Back in early September I proposed to my now fiancee (that means she said "Yes" incase you missed that part). Up until a few months before I made the decision to pop the question, her and I, like any couple, had our ups and downs. We were on and off throughout the course of a years time, then things finally "clicked". Now having been that friend who's been there for my friends that have gone through similar stretches in their own relationships, I can openly admit that it's not fun and not something you WANT to be a part of, but you do because, well, they're your friends. So I get it. What makes you think this time will last?

I would certainly hope an engagement would be a big fucking indicator that this go around might be just a little bit different. But even so, why is it that you have grown exhausted by this when you yourself have put not only myself, but other friends as well through the EXACT SAME THING?

I digress. We got engaged in early September and set a date shortly after for...? Early SEPTEMBER. More than three hundred and sixty five days in advance. (525,600 minutes, 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months, a Year, the next time that month comes back around) Do you see where I am going with this? Good, because I don't know about you, but unless its a birthday, I don't know what my plans are a year from now. Hell, I don't even know what my plans are for the weekend because things change so frequently and personally, I get tired of making plans because everyone always seems to find a reason/way to get out of them.

Which brings me to my point. We made a Facebook event for it that weekend just to get a ballpark headcount, knowing we would still send invitations out once things such as a location and venue were decided. Not even 15 minutes after the event was made and invites sent, we had people, no, FRIENDS, no, CLOSE FRIENDS, decline. Not even a maybe. A full on, heres what I think of your love and your wedding, I have better things to do, NOT GOING.

Wow.... A years notice and yet somehow they had something better to do that day. What other plans? A grandparents 100th birthday? A Bar Mitzvah? A graduation? A once in a lifetime vacation to another country?
Vegas....
Apparently, our date happens to fall on the same weekend that a group of them (not once has this ever included me because I've never been invited) go to Las Vegas. Just like they have every year for the past 7 years, and spend the week getting drunk like underage college kids. (Side note: Most of them are now pushing 30 and it just kind of seems sad now).
They're going to miss my wedding, their FRIENDS WEDDING, for that.

I think the worst feeling had to come from the moment they all declined, to the follow up of info that would trickle in piece by piece as the week progressed. See, I later found out that the reason it has to be THAT week is because of a time share that they have invested in and can't get out of it.
Heres my problem with that.

First, thats still a BULLSHIT reason/excuse to miss this.

Second, you should have lead off with the timeshare detail to begin with because seeing as how I had to find out AFTER you had already declined, means that this trip that you do every year, by itself, is more important than you being at my wedding.

Third, the fact that none of them even bothered to check the "Maybe" option, even if just to humor me and still not go, its the courteous thing to do, especially knowing how much can change in a year.

Finally, why are you treating this like its not that important or not that big of a deal?? I mean really, out with it. This isn't a birthday. You can't just "catch the next one". Even if recent history and the world as we live in it today says that marriages don't last and high divorce rates, you, under NO circumstances should EVER treat one like you'll be sure to CATCH THE NEXT ONE. Now, I don't want to take things out of context, because those words were never ACTUALLY said, it's just the feeling I have as far as their attitudes toward this event, given the evidence.
Two people agree to spend their lives together. Take vows. Speak the words. Promise to be together until death do them part, in front of family, friends, and God himself and YOU were invited to witness and be apart of it.
And you said "no" for Vegas....

Not only that, but I can't help but be left with this feeling that I'M the rude or inconsiderate one in all of this because I didn't ask THEM first.
I'm sorry, but I'm really not sorry that I don't feel its my fiancee and I's job or responsibility to go and check with everyone first to make sure they don't have any plans for when we would like to have our WEDDING.
It just blows me away how some people are. And I wish it stopped at this particular example, but unfortunately as I'm typing this, I'm remembering a few other people (Some I even asked to be IN the wedding. As in the wedding PARTY) have mentioned the possibility that they too may not be able to attend. For what I feel are also unacceptable excuses because they, again, are not any of what I listed above as a possible "good excuse".

I hope as you're reading this (they know who they are) that you remember the time that you called me at 2:30 in the morning crying your eyes out, barely even able to make the words "can you come over" because you just found out your douche of a boyfriend had been cheating on you for months with his ex wife and you needed a FRIEND. Or the time all of you were pissed drunk at the house because you had all found out that while one of you had been sleeping with (at the time) a long time friend of ours, that weekend he got in town early and slept with another one of our friends, lied about it, tried to sleep with you the same night, and then when we found out, faked his own suicide, and I was there because you guys needed a REAL FRIEND. Thats just to name a few and the only reason I don't feel like listing more examples (and trust me, theres a lot more where those came from) is because I don't feel like you're worth anymore of my time on this subject.

Since the time we set our date, we have changed it to a week earlier. Not because of anyone not being able to attend, but because of the reason we were going to have it on the original date, changes. No one who declined has changed to a yes since we did this. At this point, I hope they don't. Why should they come now that the dates been changed when they weren't even going to try before? But thats just me.

Now most of you have significant others of your own. Have for quite a while. It will be interesting to see if the time  should come that you get engaged and plan a wedding and maybe even invite me. I wonder if I'll have plans to go to Vegas that weekend...

Guess we'll see.